“It’s Mother’s Day in the U.K. today. So, I would like to dedicate this [award] to the beautiful chaos of a mother’s heart. We all come from a lineage of women who continue to create against all odds. Thank you for honoring me with this award.” So said the Irish actress Jessie Buckley upon receiving the Academy Award for best actress this March. The joy and admiration with which she described motherhood in that setting was striking. It felt like balm, soothing and healing to the hearts of her listeners, because she was saying something true. Motherhood is a gift to all of us. It is always a precious good.
In an article that appeared on Word on Fire, Haley Stewart writes about why a once obvious truth has lately seemed less so. She argues that in recent years motherhood has been talked about and treated less as a gift and more as a lifestyle choice. “Motherhood is not a lifestyle,” she argues. “It is the means by which new humans are created, and only through women becoming mothers is society possible. Motherhood, then, is a group project that affects all of us. We are all indebted to and dependent on mothers.” And because motherhood always comes with a period of particular vulnerability, especially during pregnancy and when a mother’s children are young, it demands that those around her, and society more generally, acknowledge their responsibility to her. Stewart notes that the widespread availability and use of technologies that reliably allow for the avoidance of pregnancy and the decision not to have a child has changed the way people think of motherhood. “People have less patience with mothers and less interest in supporting them when motherhood is merely a lifestyle choice: ‘She chose to have that baby, after all. Good luck to her, but why should the rest of us be inconvenienced because she wanted that experience of motherhood?’” Motherhood-as-lifestyle-choice makes the culture less sympathetic towards women with infants and small children, and less supportive. “When young women are isolated, have no one they can call to tap out for a much-needed nap, and have no familiarity with caring for children before being sent home with a newborn in a car seat, is it any surprise that they find the learning curve of early motherhood to be harrowing?” She continues: “How can we cultivate a society that values care not only for children but for the women raising them? How can we shift from a perspective that sees motherhood as a personal choice that shouldn’t inconvenience anyone to a normal but tender human stage of life that requires intentional support from the rest of us?”
“We must model valuing motherhood as a gift, not by dismissing the difficulties it entails but because bringing life into the world and caring for children is an invitation to experience more fully what it means to be a human being. The best thing we, as Christians, can do to combat the anti-motherhood rhetoric is to love and care for mothers so profoundly that the world takes notice.” That’s something we as a parish family should take seriously, looking for ways to help and support the mothers in our midst, especially those who feel isolated and overwhelmed.
posted 5/9/26
The Parish of St. Cecilia-St. Gabriel 