Building Happy Marriages 

What is the secret to a happy marriage? According to experts, going on dates (with one’s spouse) is very helpful. Unfortunately, most couples rarely enjoy a date night together. Based on a nationwide survey of over 2000 married couples, 52% of married couples report either never or seldom go on dates together, with 48% reporting going on 1-2 dates a month. The survey also showed that those couples who reported going on regular dates, “were 14 to 15 percentage points more likely to report being ‘very happy’ in their marriages compared to those who reported less regular date nights.”  These relationships also showed greater stability. According to the report: “Wives and husbands who reported frequent date nights ‘were about 14 percentage points more likely to report that divorce was not at all likely in the future,’ compared to those who ‘infrequently or never go on dates.’” Regular dates facilitate better communication, lead to more intimacy in the marriage, and boost the couple’s commitment to each other. By going on dates, the couple also signals to those around them that they take their relationship seriously – including their children, who benefit greatly from knowing this. For these reasons, over the past few years, our parish has encouraged couples to participate in something we call “The Date Night Challenge.” By registering for the challenge through our parish website, couples agree to go on three dates with their spouse by the end of September. They don’t have to be fancy dates. They can be very simple. Once the challenge is accomplished, couples are enrolled in a raffle for a gift certificate to a very nice restaurant. As in years past, the drawing will take place at a gathering at the rectory in the fall. 

Another important way couples can build strong marriages is by praying together. Like regular dates, a shared prayer life is something many (if not most) couples neglect in their relationship. Recently, the Catholic News Agency reported on a newly married couple from Florida who had an audience with Pope Leo during their honeymoon in Rome. When the pope greeted them, they asked him how to best pray together as a married couple. The pope replied: “First of all, it is very important to go slowly and find the style of prayer that works for you, we’re all different, many spiritualities.” He continued, saying, “My parents prayed the rosary together their whole lives every day, and I found that I was always blessed I’m sure because of it, their love for one another. They put their faith in God and in the intercession through Mary. It’s a wonderful thing.” Marriage, of course, is a sacrament and thus a sacred source of grace in the lives of the couple. As their particular path to holiness, it is very important for spouses to regularly entrust their marriage and family to the care of Jesus and the Blessed Mother. The rosary is a very powerful way for couples to pray with each other. At first, it might seem awkward to do it. It might require persistent encouragement to make it a fixture in one’s marriage. But it’s worth it, since 0% of couples who have ever made regular prayer together a part of their marriage has ever regretted it. You’re not going to find any formal studies that say that, but I’m quite certain it’s true. 

posted 7/19/25